I don't know what my problem is, but when I try to meditate, I have issues. At best I get restless, bored, and uncomfortable. At worst, I am anxious and out of breath.
I love the idea of Mantras. Excerpts from Wildmind Buddhist Meditation:
"Perhaps it’s best to think of mantras as being a cross between poetry and magical incantations. Many mantras don’t make any real, rational, sense, even in Sanskrit, and so they can’t really be translated in the same way that a normal sentence can..."
"Mantras can help us to develop mindfulness. The sound of the mantra is a mental object, and paying attention to the sound of the mantra can be a form of meditation, just as paying attention to the sensations of the breath is a meditation. By bringing the mind back over and over again to the mantra (getting away from the kind of multitasking where we’re “kind of” chanting the mantra while also thinking about work, relationships, and shopping) the mind can become more unified and less scattered. We become more attentive and present..."
So I did some research, and found one I really liked. Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.
Om has no meaning, and its origins are lost in the mists of time. Om is considered to be the primeval sound, the sound of the universe, the sound from which all other sounds are formed.
Shanti means Peace. It primarily means inner peace, and the universe knows I could use some inner peace at times. Especially, it seems, while meditating.
Well, I tried chanting this in my head, I tried doing it out loud. What happened was, not only were all the same things going on... uncomfortable, restless... but I also could not get it to match up with my breathing! The website said to make sure you say along with your breathing and not the other way around, trying to breath in tune to the mantra. I tried. My breathing was all wonky, I couldn't get a nice, steady flow going.
I feel like this should be so easy and I might be making it harder than it needs to be. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
Well, I'm not giving up. The last 2 times I have meditated, I was barely able to do it for 10 minutes. 10 minutes!!!
If anyone has advice I'd love to hear it. Or a favorite Mantra. Any input at all is welcomed and appreciated! <3
